“In your anger do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26)
When was the last time you were angry? What made you angry? Anger is a normal emotion that everyone experiences. Researchers tell us there are four types of anger:
Aggressive anger – This type of anger drives an individual to do harm to someone else. It is aggressive because it is very difficult to control. It can become combative, hostile, and perhaps even violent.
Defensive anger – This type of anger happens when we feel we are being criticized, insulted, or verbally attacked. It is also the anger that wells up inside of us if we experience a physical assault. We experience this anger when we feel the need to defend ourselves.
Outrage – This anger is prevalent in the society in which we live. It is what we feel when we see a lack of fairness or justice. It is an indignation at the absence of right.
Frustration – This is probably the most common form of anger we experience. It rises within us when our plans do not go as we wanted them to, or when others do not do what we hoped they would. It is a result of built up stress in our lives.
So how do we handle anger in our lives? Paul tells us in Ephesians 4:26 – “In your anger do not sin.” He does not say we cannot experience anger. He tells us not to let it turn into sin. Here are some things that might help you deal with anger:
First: Determine if you anger is righteous, unrighteous, or mixed. Righteous anger is usually directed at sin or injustice against others. Unrighteous anger is generally selfish. We can usually tell if our anger is selfish, because it makes us feel bitter.
Second: Deal with selfish anger immediately, by asking God for forgiveness and self-control. Paul also wrote in verse 26 to “not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” Face the fact that the worst enemy you have who causes you to be angry is yourself.
Third: If your anger is righteous, pray about a course of action God wants you to take to bring about justice and glory to His righteous purpose.
Fourth: Attack problems, not people. Pray about how God wants you to differentiate between the problem and the person. We don’t have to love what is happening, but we do need to love people.
In case you’re reading this and think you cannot get over your anger, think about this: What were you angry about a year ago – how about 5 years ago – or ten? We can all overcome our anger with the grace of God.
Darlene